I never said what I’m doing was right for you or him, but its right for me…damn it I know I’m being selfish just listen ok, for two seconds listen!

I never said what I’m doing was right for you or him, but its right for me…damn it I know I’m being selfish just listen ok, for two seconds listen!
Here I am, not on some kind of mission to save your heart or to strengthen your son’s, but to make mine whole.
It just hurts ok, it hurts not to trust and to feel…love was never about the sex, it was never about when I looked into your eyes…it was about her, about what I wanted in the first place that I could never have.
I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to act like the whole thing was just a lie, but I had to, I had to because I got this stupid idea in my head that if I told you the truth, the honest to god truth, that when I sat across from you, when your lips touched mine I felt nothing, that that alone would tear you apart and cause you to slip back into what you were.
I’m sorry
I don’t deserve your respect or your son’s…I don’t have the ability to be any kind of a father to him, he deserves better…he deserves someone like Alan, who isn’t afraid to run.
Do you know the reason why Alan gave up on you?
It was me, I told him that he could never have you…it was my goddamn fault that he left you and I made damn sure that I was there to pick up the pieces…I lead you into this relationship and trapped you.
So please, throw phones
Break dishes
And wake the neighbors
But don’t ever tell me that I don’t know what love is, because I do know and I will always know that deep down love is what leads you to do such psychotic things as this and I love her Erica I honestly do
And by the way…I found the paternity test results in the garbage, maybe Alan wants to know that he has a kid sleeping in my apartment