So I decided to myself, maybe lying to myself that she was above all it…but unfortunately (for me at least) I kinda forgot to tell her. See that’s th

So I decided to myself, maybe lying to myself that she was above all it…but unfortunately (for me at least) I kinda forgot to tell her. See that’s the thing about this whole “being in love” business, you have to tell the other person and wait for the reaction. It’s like a fucked up game of Battleship. You play out the moves, putting them damn white pegs in the bored for all the missed opportunities, then you get lucky and get a hit. The hit feels glorious ya know, like you’ve finally done something. It’s like look at me I’m the Admiral on The Love Boat or some shit. But then it all comes down to luck cause there’s four directions this boat could be points and god knows if another miss is gonna let her sink your battleship. That’s the bitch of it too, you want to protect yourself at all costs, some people even lie and cheat, moving their ships during the course of the game, it’s really sneaky, but it happens. People are just that stupid to think that the pain of losing love can hurt forever or that it’s the worst pain in the world. How about never feeling love, never having someone love you? Isn’t that something that’s more worthy of the title “Worst Pain Ever”? Isn’t never having a love something far greater then spending 2 minutes and 32 seconds in the heaven that you call your lover’s arms? You were lucky and so was I. I’ve had women fall at my feet, beg for my love in return, yet I couldn’t do it. I could fall in love. Was it her fault that she had me wrapped around her finger? No, it wasn’t it was mine for being so stupid, so ignorant of the fact that she wanted nothing more then a friend. Yet here I am still wondering if maybe I had that one shot, that chance to sink her battleship, would I do it. Could I go in for the kill?
My gut says no, hell no. I couldn’t do it. There’s something about her so karmatic force that’s driving me off. Maybe it’s me…maybe its her. Maybe there’s something to be sad about fate and destiny. They whole idea that I met her for a reason, that it wasn’t all by chance that she laughed at my jokes or sat next to me in class. It wasn’t like we sat in alphabetical order; it was just a random conglomeration of the cosmos somehow pushing us together.
So I decided to let her go…to walk away. She doesn’t like me, hell I doubt if she’s even my friend. Why would she be, she knows how lousy I am at that. Damn it I can’t keep thinking about her like this. Ya know it was never about the sex, never. It wasn’t about how beautiful she was or how I could stare into her eyes forever. It was the thought, that glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe she cared…but I was lying to myself, like usual
- Tethered to a Heather Part 2...this one's a bit more character oriented -