…is that what you want, me to disappear?

“Nobody knows it/Nobody knows it
Nobody knows it/But you’ve got a secret smile
And you use it only for me”

You don’t have to be so strong so much damn it. Stop it; stop treating me like I can’t be the one there for you. I can hold you, I can care for you, I can love you, yet here you are, throwing me away, why? Is it that bad? Am I not supposed to love you, is that it. Am I suppose to just be your friend and keep on living this lie? No I can’t lie to you anymore. I can’t just be friends with you, don’t you get that? Can’t you see that its tearing me apart trying to watch you go and be happy with some other guy and try and be that supportive friend and say, “Yeah he’s great,” when I know in my heart that I could do anything he could do ten times better and that I know how to make you smile.

I can sing for you
I can dance for you
I can be crazy
I can be intelligent
I can be funny
I can be smart
I can just be me…I can do that with you for the rest of my life

I don’t want to sit here and stare into your eyes and wonder what its like to be lying next to you at night. I want to feel that, I want to be where he is…why won’t you let me in? Are you afraid of me? Is that it? Am I so gruesome, so ignorant, that you don’t want to be seen with me?

No…that’s bullshit…I know what I am…I’m me and I’m the only person right now who’s willing to risk everything in his life, everything he holds dear for one chance with a love at first sight. I do love you and if you don’t love me then say it and I will walk away, I’ll be gone, just gone forever…is that what you want, me to disappear?