and that doesnt matter anymore

I slip into nothingness, stuck in a giant white void.
My mind
My dreams
Color merges into white
Pale blues
Dark reds
And the deepest of blacks

Darkness

Fear sets in as I am surrounded by the lack of light.
Sitting
Cold
Lonely
Is it really like this, a lack of warmth, so distant? I don’t feel a thing, can’t smell a thing.
Am I okay?
Am I good?
Am I the best?

I keep my eyes closed, still keeping myself lost in this blank space.
Is this what I waited for?

Her thoughts…
What is she thinking? Are those sounds of delight and ecstasy? Am I hurting her? My God what am I doing? I can’t feel a thing. I can’t feel a thing and stills eh continues
This is pointless, I just…I’m losing my ability to know what is real. I don’t want to open my eyes, but I have to…I have to look into her eyes.

I do
I look
I look into her eyes and I see the same fear that is brewing in my heart
I feel her fingertips grace my back…feeling her warmth against my skin